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It’s no secret to most people that Thailand is known for go-go bars and massage parlors. The average Western male comes here with ideas of red lights and grinding hips, and all that follows. As a result, many have a very misguided idea about what Thai girls are all about, and it’s important to keep some perspective.

The average tourist who never pulls his ass off a barstool down in Phuket, Bangkok, or Pattaya is naturally exposed only to a certain type of girls, so that’s all he sees.

But here are 5 things you’ve all wrong about Thai ladies.

1. Not All Thai Girls Are Working Girls

Not by a long shot, and most guys at least have enough common sense to realize that much. Yet they still apply the same lens to every other woman they meet and assume they’re just like those girls they meet in the bar. Which brings up the other 4 points.

2. Not All Thai Girls Want Your Money

This is a myth that goes well beyond the bar, and sure, money is a real factor in Thai relationships (in all relationships, for that matter). That doesn’t mean, however, that it is the defining factor of ALL relationships with Thais—just look at how many women in Thailand fall in love with a Thai man their age who isn’t so well off.

Not to mention that there is a whole class of society in Thailand that would look at your money and scoff. Rich Thais have more money than you could ever dream of having, and the most elite women would not be caught dead, let alone allowed, dating a farang. I’m not saying the reasons for this are just, but it helps to keep a little perspective and realize you’re not the prize you think you are.

3. Not All Thai Girls Are Easy

While younger Thais have certainly become a little more promiscuous over the years, many men in Thailand consider it common knowledge that you have to spend a long time courting a decent woman before she’ll ever consider sleeping with you. For many, it could still mean waiting for marriage.

And even if there is a chance of sleeping together sooner, for Thais the most important thing is keeping up that public image. Touching women in public or making out in front of others is pretty taboo, so keep your hands to yourself, especially if you haven’t spent enough time together to know the boundaries. Even touching a proper Thai woman’s upper arm can amount to crossing the line.

4. Not All Thai Girls Like Western Men

Can you blame them after the sampling of us they’ve grown accustomed to seeing? For many Thais, being seen with a Western man is the ultimate embarrassment. Again, I’m not condoning this kind of prejudice, but it’s a real part of Thai culture. So even if you aren’t an overweight, balding expat over here trying to get the most bang for your buck, you still won’t have access to a huge section of the dating pool.

5. Not All Poor Thai Girls Want or Need the Above Either

A lot of what I’ve mentioned above especially applies to the middle and upper classes, but it’s important to give the poorer masses of Thailand some respect too and acknowledge that many of them never resort to working as prostitutes or even looking to some Westerner to save them. Many work hard their entire lives to do their part for their family without sacraficing their morals.

Others are satisfied to marry a quiet, humble Thai man, whether he has money or not, and seem more than happy with this decision. You see, money might be more important here in many ways, but it’s also easier to be happy here with less.

So keep these things in mind when you’re visiting this beautiful country. Maintain a little perspective, try to step out of the beach bars, and make sure you leave your beer goggles in there where you found them. Because the lenses of those glasses don’t quite put things in perspective the way they should.