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Are you a Christian guy who has often found yourself wondering, “What in the world do Christian girls want from me?” If that’s you, keep reading!
Here's what I (and lots of other) Christian girls are looking for in a guy…
1. Personal Relationship with Christ
First and foremost, Christian girls are looking for guys who have made a commitment to living completely for Jesus Christ. Jesus needs to be the center of a guy’s life before he can take on the blessings and responsibilities of a Christian relationship or, one day, a marriage. This is of the utmost importance, gentlemen.
Purity is extremely important. Our society devalues the importance of purity and has set up a double standard. This double standard asserts that it is okay for guys to have as many sexual conquests as they want. On the other hand, for girls, society looks down upon girls who behave in this way, particularly if they end up pregnant. Regardless of what our society says, it is key to remember that God has called each and every person, male and female, to live in purity and in holiness. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 & 7 says, “Now this is God’s will for you: set yourselves apart and live holy lives; avoid polluting yourselves with sexual defilement. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live holy lives”. Christian girls are looking for young men who are pure physically, mentally, and spiritually. Don’t get caught in thinking that the sins you may commit in the dark, like pornography or lust, will never be exposed. They will. I have witnessed the effects of what these types of sins do to Christian men and their relationships with women. They truly do have the power to destroy lives and ruin potentially good dating and marriage relationships.
Christian girls want to date guys who are confident in who they are and in WHOSE they are. Although showing off your muscles or bragging about your football stats may impress some of us for a short while, it will not keep us wanting to be in a relationship with you. There has to be something more; something that will last and not fade as the years go by. That is why true Christian young women are looking for guys who seek to be defined by God, instead of their physical appearance or accomplishments. When guys confidently find their identity in Christ, rather than in their own abilities, it makes them more attractive because it says to young women that we can trust you to lead us. God has given you the tremendous task of leadership and it puts us, young women, at ease to know that we can count on you to draw strength and wisdom from the Lord Himself.
4. Intentionality & Consistency
Nothing is worse than a guy who says one thing and does another. It is extremely frustrating for girls to have to wonder if the comments you make or the time that you are taking to spend with her, are because you desire to be friends with her, or because you are interested in dating her. Girls appreciate when guys are clear about their intentions. Guys, if you have no intention of dating her, please do not lead her on. If you do have a desire to date her, then be consistent. If you tell her you are interested in her and that you care about her, your actions should say that as well. For example, if you see her in the hall at school, acknowledge her presence. Don’t just ignore her because you are with your buds! This sends mixed messages and makes relationships way more confusing than they need to be or really are.
Against popular belief, Christian girls actually can and do appreciate a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them. This does not mean you need to tell her everything about your past or every thought you have - of course not! This does mean, however, that you are willing to be honest with her, and open to sharing more of who you are at some level. So many guys believe that being macho and coming off as though they have it all together is what girls want. But, while girls do want someone who is able to be strong, they also want a guy who is not afraid to express who he really is to them and even to others.
Although I cannot speak for every single young woman out there, I believe many would agree with me that we are looking for a young man who...
- is committed to his relationship with Christ
- practices purity daily
- is confident enough in who God has made them to be, so they treat us with dignity and respect in all that they do.
Christian girls are not asking you to be perfect, although it may seem like it sometimes. They are simply asking you to step up and go against what society says is popular, in order to lead the next generation in their pursuit for Jesus Christ. Do realize that you’ll never become this type of man on your own. It takes a lot of persistence and drive, but you are never alone. God, Himself, is your biggest supporter. There is no one out there who believes in you or wants you to succeed more than Him. Trust Him to shape you into all that you can be, which will significantly impact your ability to catch the heart of a wonderful Christian young woman some day.